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| My family-my faith - my focus! |
Before the November election, I was fired up, you hear me? Fired up! I was emailing people, watching and reading the news, listening to the pundits on the radio, calling politicians' offices (even when I wasn't in their district) to tell them what jerks they were and, of course launched into socio-political tirades whenever I got the chance. I would lecture the dangers of socialism to the kids in the car or at the breakfast table. Sadly, I even began rolling down the windows and yelling at people with Obama or Deval Patrick bumper stickers or folks holding signs for Democrats until I realized the kids were beginning to copy me. "We don't need no more stinkin' Democrats" they'd yell from the backseat. That's when I stopped.
I realized that I was putting way to much time and effort into "making a difference" and was neglecting some rather important things. Being a home schooling family, we need to run our "school days' in an orderly way. We have chores, breakfast times school time, snack times, lunch times, little kid nap times, etc. and it runs fairly smoothly if we stick to the schedule. By end of the day, we should have accomplished a lot of school work, put kiddies to naps and played with them, cleaned up some portion of the house, kept the kitchen clean and then have time for some TV or computer games.
Well, when I would get distracted by making a phone call to a Senator or two, I would, for example, put off making lunch a "few minutes." Eventually, the hungry kids would come in and mouth to me "can I make a sandwich?" or something. I'd be involved with the phone call so I'd nod "yes" and then, a half-hour later, the kitchen's a mess, the kids are fighting over the last of the milk, the baby has dropped all her food and the preschooler is knee deep in crafts and glue on the floor.
My day at that point, was ruined. I was frustrated at the scene and mad at my two oldest (11 and almost 13) for not having been able to "run" lunch in a calm, organized way. The toddler's nap would be late, the kitchen would take an hour to clean, (which threw off the afternoon school schedule) and a couple of kids still hadn't eaten anything. But more than anything, I was frustrated with myself for abdicating my first and most important responsibility: to be a mother to my six children every minute of the day. I let myself get too involved and put things in the wrong order. Not only that, but I was feeling grouchy a lot, even first thing in the morning, because of the constant anger I felt toward the people who are trying to change (ruin) our country. I never gave myself any relief from that knowledge...I was constantly being reminded of it and it wasn't healthy.
After the elections, I found myself crying in the afternoon on day, feeling unable to do my job as a mother and home teacher adequately. My husband said I should stop all the "other stuff" that was taking up my energy and time. I agreed that I should. I changed my website home page from "the Drudge Report" (which always had headlines that would infuriate me) to "Living the Liturgical Year" a blog written by two friends and fellow homeschooling mothers. So, now I start my day in a positive way. I am challenged to imitate Christ daily, imitate the lives of the holy saints (many of whom were ordinary folk like us!) in the smallest of ways in my ordinary housewife-y ways. I cannot say how this change has lightened my heart and made my life more enjoyable every day. I often have ideas to share with the kids...like when it was Epiphany..I bought Hostess cupcakes (I wanted golden ones because they look like gold crowns, but they only had chocolate) and we ate them while remembering the wise men's visit and gifts and talking about them and Jesus.
I am focusing on my family and faith and it makes all the difference.
But, I am still a proud, strong patriot- and if push comes to shove, I will deliver a knock-out for my country.
